I came to Nisarga with a seed in my heart, deciding to do work meditation in the mandir, was a commitment to myself, to nurture the seed. Immersed in the feeling of love and devotion, was quite unaware of what lay ahead.
And it was a ride! So many different groups, people from various parts of the world, sannyasin friends, different emotions, feelings evoked, a lot happening outside instigated a lot on the inside.
Making arrangements, preparations, giving finishing touches, when I entered the mandir for the sessions, everything seemed to come to a standstill – a deep silence. Like a warm, safe place, where my heart could rest and I could just ‘be’.
Living in a commune, I had never experienced before. To live with people on the path, walking together, sharing experiences, love, joy and sadness, enriched me and gave valuable insights to relate.
Taking care of the mandir, cleaning, arranging… Never had I done it before, I watched at times the rebellious me, and sometimes found myself utterly, lovingly absorbed feeling like something was getting cleansed inside as I organized outside. As if everything was a mirror, reflecting all that I carried inside, the flowing river and the resisting, stubborn rocks.
Each group had a different flavor; some left me very vulnerable, some probed me, more and more, to dissect the inside, in some tears would keep flowing, tears of sadness, love, and joy and gratitude. Sometimes, I would get a glimpse of a Meera inside, sometimes a Buddha in me and the other.
To feel the beauty, and innocence of the facilitators, especially of the old sannyasins, was a joy. I felt warmth flowing from my heart, as I worked on the audio, working closely with them, feeling attuned, like an invisible connection. Slowly settling into the rhythm, like a falling leaf floating in the breeze and gradually resting on the earth. Their presence was like a whiff of freshness, I wanted to gather and feel it as much as I could, for this was my way of feeling close to Osho.
The child-like eyes so pure, full of love, a wonder.
The sannyas celebrations, welcoming the fellow travelers on the path; a dance, a joy, ecstasy, celebration and gratitude!! And love flowing, ‘thank you for choosing us Osho.’
I saw, so many different people coming to participate in diverse groups, for some it was a new experience; could be a merry walk or a rocky, rebellion mind, and for several it was like welcoming another sunrise on the path. Being together for a few days, on this mystical journey, feeling the treasured aloneness.
Being a part of it all, in the beautiful mandir, in some groups I observed how we are all connected… through common pain, longing, tears and joy… It seemed to unveil for the first time, what it meant when Osho said that “there is so much love in the world, and I only have to open my eyes to see it.” I always felt an ocean of love, tenderness, sheer ecstasy exploding, all made possible in this cocoon, an environment so conducive for ever blooming awareness.
It feels so special, this beautiful Nisarga, so precious, gift from the beyond to bathe in this golden, mystical light of mediation.
My heart sings songs of gratitude, for I could live here and work in the mandir. This mystical space, the loving energy changed something very delicate inside; the seed I carried, I feel is sprouting.
Love
Megha
